I've known her husband since I was 16. We've never got close but he's a decent bloke. I met him through ties to my cousin. Nice guy. I accept that any relationship I may have had with this guy will be severely dented should I go with option 1, but I've come to terms with that.
Originally Posted by pinkyexcel
I'm friends with this guy on facebook.
I was tempted to say this too...
Originally Posted by LFC81Eoin
I don't think she's into either of us, she's just a loud mouth. A disgusting, vulgar, loud mouth. I believe she isn't aware of how inappropriate her behaviour is. I think she's probably gotten encouraging reactions from her social peers from it before and it's now become habit. Her heart is in the right place for the bigger picture. She's just lewd and I'm a prude, we don't mix.
Originally Posted by LFC81Eoin
EDIT: I just looked up the definition of "prude" and I'm not that bad. Maybe I have small prudish tendancies, but it's probably too strong a word to describe myself accurately.
The Answer to life is in here somewhere
F you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
Also the thing about our social events is they are quite intimate. We tend to hang about in small numbers. The wife's sister's birthday for example was a trip to a country pub with 4 adults, a teenager and a baby sitting at a table eating lunch.
I'm not a big fan of the larger social events, I'd rather attend these more intimate of occasions and skip the evening party, where all the single people come out and get trollyed.
I put family high up the list of importance and I really don't know what to do next year with her sister. I really hope this isn't a problem come my daughter's first birthday.
i thought it was her friend? incidentally, what country are you in?
I really don't know what to do next year with her sister.
i note you use the word "uncomfortable" a lot.... is this because you are toning down your language for this forum?
3) Harden up
Originally Posted by slim
Sounds like she's the 'attention seeking' type. I kinda missed if while out watching a band it was just the three of you, but, if so, then I guess that confirms it. How to deal with the attention seeking type? Unfortunately i'm not really a guru on the matter, but, when my collie (err, dog) tries to gain 'too much' of my attention, well, I just ignore her and that seems to work most of the time... I guess that might come close to the answer?
Come to think of it I do the same to the missus sometimes....
I would agree with bella .. i wouldnt accept those baby clothes. she's putting her nose too far down in your family.
i think the wise thing to do instead of all these nerves, is to go confront her once for all without being rude, expressing all your concerns and trying to find a mutual solution. it won't hurt and she could express herself as well and you could both load the shit down on the platter and mix it up, maybe something good would come out of it and you both would feel relieved.
just tell her that you don't like certain things about her behaviour in the past and you could let it all out but don't get angry, be logical and say what's on your mind. she will get angry if you express anger.. but if you use ur mind instead and cut down the emotions, without getting exxcited about it, then if she gets angry it would be her problem and from then on you would know that you did your best and from then on I would say if she's un-cooperative and all emotional, then you can say well I'm done at this point so this will be all I have to say, ending it there.
this takes some guts to do but i'd do that to end this whole thing. its costing too much nerves on both sides. you want a peaceful life, especially that the baby's coming.
congrats on the baby also btw.
My ex missus had a mate like that.....real pain in the harris.
Some people just feel the need to feel self important, really shows its something missing from her charactor to be honest. Just avoid or smile sweetly if you have to see her.
And as regard to the she'll kill you comment. If she mentions it again, just keep a rope noose in your boot, ask her to get something out the back of the car for you, smile and tell her youd like to take a night time trip with her!!!! :-)
Good luck with her! And dont accept the baby clothes IMHO. Good luck with the sprog!