I agree, and that's partly why I stopped myself today! I hate to think what I might have done were I stuck in my room at university, but now I'm at home, and I hear my family's voice, it's all different.
Originally Posted by bella
What frustrates me a lot is that this was never about money, even when I had £7,000 in my account I didn't spend more than a couple of hundred of it on myself. The most I've spent in the last few months is donating £600 to a friend's charity fundraiser! I've now ended up in £1000 of debt simply because I hated losing to the casino, not because I wanted the money...
Hi Shiv ,
Sorry to hear about your loss , I don't know you or what your life is like and i've never been to college in a room on my own in the day or evenings but I can understand how things must seem . I remember a few years ago I lost alot of money , I start betting small in the morning and things didn't work out the way I expected and all of a sudden come 11pm I was betting huge money just trying to break even . I remember the feeling well , feeling so stupid and keep telling myself over and over I lost x amount until I had a headache and felt sick with it .
You gotta turn the laptop off mate , your young and have a whole life ahead of you , you will see 1k lots of times in your life , its very replaceable , you have only one body , one family . I would suggest you take up a hobby in the evening meet people , exercise realeases endorphines which make you feel good . Even go for a walk , life is a long road and we all meet points in life that we find tough , but it will get better , trust me , in some years time you will look back and be glad your still here . Turn the laptop off and do something mate .
Best of luck whatever you do .
Thank you, that really is good and helpful advice!
Originally Posted by LFC81Eoin
Whilst I was at uni, the issue was that I had no other purpose other than gambling... after the Lent term, I didn't have to go in at all other than for exams (4 times) so I found myself sitting in my room for days on end and the only thing I did was sit on my computer and gamble or watch movies.
Now I'm at home I hoped things would be different, and they have been to an extent, I only gambled a small part of my day, but I've had the same mindset of not being able to handle losing and that's what's caused this mess. I am going to focus on other things now though!
Another regret I have is not locking away my winnings, I kept intending to lock away a few thousand of my winnings since I don't spend much anyway, a grand would keep me going till next year most likely! But no I didn't and now I'm in debt!
Well you're just going to have to carry on regretting them. You are not going to chase your losses. You are going to have to accept those regrets and just write them off as a life experience. You are not built for this game.
Confiding in your friend was a great step. Confiding in your parents may be an even better one. You have shame over your actions and that's great because you know you shouldn't be doing it. There's nothing more powerful in kicking a young man's arse in to gear than the look of dissapointment in a parent's eye, quickly followed by the support that they will naturally want to offer.
You haven't killed anybody, you haven't caused any pain or suffering to anybody other than yourself. You've simply behaved like an idiot. Sort it out!
Listen to all the above, very sensible advice indeed. No amount of debt is worth taking your life for, it is only money. Self exclude, give the lappy away, seek help, just do anything to stop you feeling like you have.
Good luck, I wish you all the best.
A close relative of mine tried to commit suicide this year and was found in time, completely by chance, which is what saved their life.
Hippyer is right when he says you haven't killed yourself or caused any pain or suffering to anybody.
Never, ever try to take your own life. You will do immense damage to others; forget yourself for a while and think about this; think how awful it would be for everyone who knows you. Don't skirt the issue; imagine how YOU would feel if the situation was reversed and it was someone else who YOU found, who had taken their life. Never mind your gambling problem – this pales in comparison. Imagine the damage you would do to others - I'm sure you would not want this.
Life is a gift. Use it well. Writing this message is perhaps the only positive thing that I have so far been able to draw out of the suicide attempt described above earlier this year. Let this one life saved bring a moment of clarity and wisdom to your own life if you feel that way again. Everything changes with time - go out, give a tramp £1 or just walk somewhere nice, alone. Buy your favourite food or run in the rain, but do not ever try to take your own life, EVER.
Don't throw away the precious gift of life - others, maybe some of whom you have yet to meet, need you. Get out, get that job in the bar and you might just meet a few of them...
Accept that you have had a problem with betting sites. Be big enough to admit your weaknesses – that is the mark of a big person. Get the help that you need and move on.
Honestly, being back at home, and thinking what effect I'd have on my family if I continued gambling was what stopped me today... If I was at uni I know I'd have gone all the way and just bet as much as I could, but I realised that the situation wasn't so bad, and I could stop, without harming my family.
Originally Posted by bluegrey
This is what is going to motivate me from now on!
Sorry to hear about that Shiv, I would just echo what others have said above but highlight one thing - make a point of getting your best friend to sit with you and login to the various accounts you have and make sure you exclude yourself from all of those accounts. Also maybe get them to change the email addresses (to their own email address) / passwords on each of the accounts as well so you can't login again?
Hope it works out OK for you.
I tried to do this a few days ago but it's a lengthy process! Most casinos want reasons of why I want to self-exclude myself, and then to fill out a form.
Originally Posted by munk
I will get it done, but it really shouldn't be so complicated to do this!
I did actually edit the post as you were replying - another thing you could do then as an alternative to excluding yourself is to get your mate to change your email addresses on all your online accounts so that it's his/her email address, and then at the same time change all the passwords as well to something random so you can't login again or change the password.
Originally Posted by Shiv27
Probably obvious but there will be lots of gambling awareness forums out there where they can advise you on these kinds of things, I guess you had a look already.
GamCare, gambling addiction, gambling problems help, support and advice, the national problem gambling organisation UK
is the obvious one - if you feel the urge to start gambling again try and go on there and talk to a livechat advisor. They have a forum there as well which might have some useful info in / tips on how to cope.
But I reckon the idea about changing the passwords to something random + changing the email address is good, make sure you only do it when a friend's with you (ideally get THEM to do it, don't you login at all to the sites, just sit with them and say which sites you need to visit).