Monday 17th August - 5 Euro Buy In - Tournament V

[Andy]

This is the fith tourney in the Summer league at our sponsor site:
Open-Account - Noxwin

It starts at 9PM

The top ten places in each tournament recieves 15/12/10/8/6/5/4/3/2/1 points in descending order towards the Summer League.

To register open the software you have downloaded, remember you need to open the software then log in seperately in top left dropdown "File" and the "Log in". Then go to "Tournaments", "Special" and "Register". You will be asked for the password, this can be requested from any forum moderator by PM.

Any Qs ask in here please.

Goodluck.

[fudge]

Doubt I'll make this one, got two games of footy monday night, though if my last game's 9.15 I might signup anyway and just start 20mins late on less chips

[wobbler]

Doubt I'll make this one, got two games of footy monday night, though if my last game's 9.15 I might signup anyway and just start 20mins late on less chips

That's a good idea, no real major action for the first half an hour.

I have perfected the art of getting to the break then fooking it up immediately afterwards.

[s0095063]

That's a good idea, no real major action for the first half an hour.

I have perfected the art of getting to the break then fooking it up immediately afterwards.

Munk would beg to differ

[Nintendo2k]

Doubt I'll make this one, got two games of footy monday night, though if my last game's 9.15 I might signup anyway and just start 20mins late on less chips

You should be ok if you are only 20 minutes late. Last tournament you weren't there at all, and as if by magic you managed to finish 10th out of 24. But maybe mostly because a few players didn't realize you were away and somehow managed to lose against you.

[munk]

Munk would beg to differ

EDIT: misread what you said... yes my strategy seems to go all in after one or two hands - everyone is bluffing 100% of the time, when someone else goes all in they are bound to be bluffing...

[s0095063]

EDIT: misread what you said... yes my strategy seems to go all in after one or two hands - everyone is bluffing 100% of the time, when someone else goes all in they are bound to be bluffing...

It was purely based on your 1st hand heads up aginast Fella - 2 weeks ago?

[munk]

It was purely based on your 1st hand heads up aginast Fella - 2 weeks ago?

Yes that was a bit silly, I was half in the mind that I had other stuff to do so was going for the old 'double up first hand' approach... which went a bit wrong really. Not sure if anyone's gone out quicker than that, was the very first hand yes!

EDIT: I should have said above, I'm up for this week's right now, was a bit busy last week (well, knackered actually from camping!)... this week should be good, will try and at least make it to the break this time!

[musicbox]

Hello, it's your mother speaking.

If you're on a slow connection and usually register (or plan to) right before the beginning of the tourney, you may wish to at least load the program a little in advance of the tourney because there are often updates to download - I just did it now and sure enough there was a program update.

I shall see you for some hot poker action tomorrow. Mother out.

[musicbox]

Trouble flared at this TGT poker event when Crippery turned up sporting a blue jogging suit with matching bandana and tennis shoes. Renowned Blooderys Bella, Bubbles and Butty, who were wearing nothing but the number 5 stamped on their foreheads, put down their 99s which they'd just bought from s0095063's all-you-can-eat ice cream van and picked up their .45s, confronting Crippery at the door. With having to avoid using words containing the letters B and C respectively, a rather mashedup and nonsensical conversation ensued. There was only one thing to stop these homicidal maniacs and that was me and my Mickey Mouse underpants. "Drop em" TimRoberts shouted, probably directing the others to lay down their arms but I took it as my cue and "dropped 'em". "Blue Mickey Mouse pants? Are you a Crippery too?" asked Crippery. "I'm a lover, not a hater. Ask Wobbler if you don't believe me. Let's just play some cards." Amazingly, calm prevailed and everyone took their seat at the poker table.

First out was Maddog who kinda gave away his all-in bluff by losing patience during Rudloph's decision on whether or not to call him, complaining "haven't had a decent card all night. Can't be arsed, call me." Over the next 30 minutes, Macmacmac kept leaving the room and coming back with handcuffs on. Mouse, Dulence and Iscasino were genuinely concerned by this strange behaviour but their offer of group counselling was met with "You lied to me 'cos she said she'd never turn on me. You lied to me but you did, but you do. You lied to me, all these pains you said I'd never feel. You lied to me but I do, but I do, do, do."

Two usual final table players (Nintendo and Fella) went out in 19th and 17th respectively. "Right, I have a chance now!" the remaining 16 players shouted in unison except for the Blooderys who claimed they now had a "hance". Even Andy, who was fast asleep like a baby, let out a heavy sigh which could be construed as some form of relief. What on earth he was thinking of leaving the house in an orange jumpsuit and bib, I do not know but he's one of those guys that can pull off pretty much any look as most of you will know from witnessing his Youtube escapades as a Norwich City cheerleader.

Anyway, like Massimo Taibi dressed in a Man City outfit at the Man Utd Christmas party, I didn't get chance to hang around for long. I finished 14th, losing out to an incredibly lucky Slim who played his offsuit 29 from first position, raising 700 chips whilst laughing uncontrollably. I had him worked out. I had seen his type before at Bill Bailey concerts. I re-raised all-in with my pocket Aces and he called. "Get out of that one!" I said prodding him in the ribs. Then the flop came; 3, 4, 5. It wasn't looking good, he only needed 6, 7 and 8 to make his straight. The turn was 6. "Oh, no way!" I exhaled from the wrong end. And then the unbelievable river came. We were playing with the one pack of cards in a million that contained the misprinted 7/8 combination card. Slim, whether or not you usually buy a lotto ticket I do not know but buy one this week and get the Euromillions while you're at it. And remember who told you to.

The one-hour break came and Munk, who has undeservedly developed a reputation for, amongst other things; Spandau-Ballet-rashness, Amir-Khan-impatience, children's-TV-presenter-excessive-enthusiasm, Alex-Higgins-unpredictability, Ainsley-Harriott-buttery-hysterics, and Dale-Winton-flammable-impetuousity, was still there and just as much a contender as the next person. Well, the next person was Andy who was about to be blinded out so don't take that comment literally.

Spurs went out in 9th and left in the taxi with Wobbler - Wobbler had introduced Spurs to the TGT poker arena with promises of free booze and loose women. To say he left disappointed may be the understatement of the year but at least he left with his head held high - not sure if it was whiplash or what but didn't like to ask why he was in the neck collar? I notice at least 14 of us did manage to sign it without him noticing though which was rather humourous.

Grandthrax, whose name you shouldn't actually read as Grandthrax; she's actually a pretty old lady... it's Gran D. Thrax but we all call her Nan of course... anyway, Nan played well. Even as I type this, she's still going strong swigging from her hip flask and teaching the upstarts a thing or two about wartime survival. Also still in are Rudloph and Mrbenjo whose names I can't help but read as Rudolph and Mrbanjo. Unfortunately when you have a warped mind, this is quite significant because you end up trying to play poker with an image of a red nosed reindeer singing "When I'm cleaning windows" in your head. Not to mention Bella kept winking again. What chance do I have?

I'm submitting this before the money positions have been sorted so... if you make the money, congratulations. If you don't, there's always next time unless you're a continual loser and then you're best not getting your hopes up.