"Oxygen toxicity is a condition resulting from the harmful effects of breathing molecular oxygen at elevated partial pressures" Bella was heard to say as we watched her rise into the air. For those who are reading who weren't present at the weekly TGT poker meetup, I should reassure you that Bella isn't some strange David Blaine character doing some whacko street levitation. She was off on a romantic hot air balloon trip around the neighbourhood to celebrate winning the "TGT best *wink* award." This is the only excuse permitted to miss a weekly TGT poker game - people, have I made myself clear?!
And to the game... the clock struck 9 leaving just 21 of us conscious and able to play. Our dealer passed us the four decks of cards to deal out ourselves. (Maddog, that's what happens when you accidentally book a crack dealer instead of a croupier.)
Three minutes in and Bubbles made an astonishing play claiming "I'm a gonna open a can of whoopass on you youngsters even if I do only have 4J offsuit". What was with that accent? Just because you came dressed as John Wayne didn't mean you had to speak like him. I suppose you got the idea from Fella who is still turning up dressed as P Diddy and mumbling the same old shit about J Lo's ass being like "the unstoppable freight train on a choo-choo mission to heaven." (As a rather humourous note, as I got to this part of the review, Dulence , referring to a poker hand that had just been played, typed in the poker chatbox "if that's not material for the review, I don't know what is". As I wasn't paying attention to the actual game (as usual!), I said "what happened? I was writing about J Lo's backside in my review". It was at this point where I thought to myself "Yeh, maybe you are a bit weird.")
Perhaps the most curious hand of the night saw Iscasino and Timroberts both revealing pocket QQ yet the flop was QQ5. Because our in-house fraud team (Fudge and Butty) couldn't work out who was the good guy and who was the bad guy or whether it was simply the crack guy messing up the decks, they concluded in their 30-page report that the fairest thing to do was to accuse them both of cheating and to forcibly remove them from the premises. So basically, that's why they were in 19th and 20th, they played pretty well up 'til that point.
Wobbler got stung badly with his AA by 33 as he was outdrawn, then I was dealt QQ against his AK and knocked him out straight afterwards. I was pleased to win the hand but felt rather bad afterwards when he explained he was only playing the game in the hope of making some money for the charity "Can't Get Through The Barricades", a charity supporting Vegetarian Spandau Ballet addicts who "live a life disadavantaged by their musical tastes and the lack of pork in their bellies." I hope they don't mind me naming them so publicly but Andy, Slim and Munk have all been attending the support groups for the last decade.
Spurs spent most of the evening mocking KasinoKing for spelling his ID with a K. "Hey, Mr Kool. I guess you couldn't write it CasinoCing" Spurs said looking around the room to see if people were enjoying his joke quite as much as he was. "You're a Tottenham fan, right?" KasinoKing replied. And that was the end of that argument.
"It's in the game!" shouted EAustin as he made the final table. I was low on chips, 9th of 9 and things were looking bleak. I ended up going all in with just over 2xBB and Poker-donk called me. I had 10J and he didn't which instantly made me worry because the likeliness of splitting the pot was decreased by approximately 84.5% even if my poker percentages aren't what they used to be. Needless to say, he won but the table stood to shake my hand, pat me on the back, and generally try to do anything which could distract me long enough so either Nintendo or Global could nick my wallet.
So into the money positions we went and Buttymade 5th. I wouldn't say we should fear Butty's poker skills but he's basically always near the top and is the author of fourteen top selling poker books. s0095063 clambered into a very respectable 4th taking home 18 euros and some crockery that I had failed to sell at the car boot sale on the weekend. And as I submit this, EAustin has gone out in 3rd and Rudloph and Poker-donk are battling it out for the top prize... so well done to the money-makers and commiserations to everyone who simply donated to them living the high life tomorrow.
Edit: Tod (poker-donk) won - congratulations!