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  • Peyton Manning assaulted at charity event

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Thread: Peyton Manning assaulted at charity event

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  1. 01/04/2008 06:59 #1
    Marcus Publius
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    Peyton Manning assaulted at charity event

    The lack of threads in this section is very disturbing. I just stumbled across this article...kind of bizarre. Does it remind you all of anyone?

    Peyton Manning Assaulted at Charity Event

    INDIANPOLIS (AP) - Indianapolis Colts Quarterback Peyton Manning was the victim of a bizarre assault this weekend after attending a charity event at an Indianapolis-area YMCA.

    Manning and five other Colts players held a "training camp" for members of the local Boys & Girls Club, an organization that provides mentors for at-risk children. After the two and a half hour event came to an end, the Colts players were offered the use of the YMCA's locker facilities, which they accepted.

    It was then that witnesses say a man bearing false media credentials gained access to the facility and began to accost a towel-clad Manning.

    "He was acting very nervous--not at all like a reporter," Manning told reporters after word of the attack got out. "I just thought he was a blogger or something."

    But the man was not a blogger. He was fawning over the 6'5" quarterback--not typical behavior for members of the media, who generally try to keep a professional distance from the subjects of their interviews. He soon began telling Manning how "homeboys" were bringing down the team, and were responsible for all of society's problems. Manning laughed nervously, unsure of whether the remarks were being recorded.

    But Manning was not at all prepared for what happened next. The unidentified man grabbed Manning's towel, dropped to his knees, and attempted to fellate him. After a brief struggle, he was subdued by Dallas Clark, another Colts player, and Jim Steinke, the manager of the YMCA, who held him until the police arrived.

    Although the motive for the incident may never be fully understood, police did uncover some clues when they raided the man's trailer, where he lived alone. They found large quantities of steroids and methamphetamines, as well as newspaper clippings from stories about Manning.

    Robert Varney, a spokesman for the Indianapolis Colts, said in a press conference on Monday morning, "Peyton definitely intends to press charges. He's a married man, and the leader of our team. And it's not like he enjoyed it or anything. His dick couldn't have been in the guy's mouth for more than like half a second--tops."

    "No, I didn't get hard, LOL!" Manning later told a reporter.

    As for his assailant, he remains in the county jail where he awaits a hearing on Wednesday. Unable to post bail, he asked to use his one phone call to contact Manning again. Deputies refused his request.
    Islam delenda est

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    -G.K. Chesterton
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  2. 01/04/2008 14:28 #2
    Pennsylvania Punk
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    Oh TGO, why did you have to go this far......

    This is fucking funny.......
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  3. 01/04/2008 14:37 #3
    mishink7
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    lol this has to be april fools thing
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  4. 01/04/2008 20:40 #4
    thecapguy
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pennsylvania Punk View Post
    Oh TGO, why did you have to go this far......

    This is fucking funny.......
    No shit. I could almost guarantee it was TGO !!! Seriously
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  5. 01/04/2008 21:00 #5
    A Ways To Go
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    *doesn't read, just responds to title*

    Get over it Brady, you fucking loser.
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  6. 01/04/2008 21:03 #6
    Doc
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    this has to be made up.
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  7. 01/04/2008 22:10 #7
    Marcus Publius
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marcus Publius View Post




    "No, I didn't get hard, LOL!" Manning later told a reporter.
    I thought this would give it away for sure. Somehow I can't picture Peyton Manning (or most people, for that matter) using "LOL" in an oral interview.
    Islam delenda est

    "Merely having an open mind is nothing. The purpose of an open mind, like that of an open mouth, is to close it on something solid."
    -G.K. Chesterton
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  8. 06/04/2008 14:08 #8
    jimbojpc
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    now that is is good stuff! in his mouth for a half a sec! lol!
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